Snow Hell
My 24th fanfiction. Feedback is appreciated. Some story elements were consulted with TMNT1987Dude and AnimationFan15. T-rated (blood, mild violence, animal predators) Theme song: "The Fields of Ard Skellig" by Marcin Przybyłowicz and Percival https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gokhBJWSjeM Lincoln, Luan and Lucy get separated from family by an avalanche and try to survive in Alaskan wilderness to return to them. Winter time, Alaska, Vanzilla is going slowly through snowy road. Lynn Sr. is driving the car, Lori is holding Lily and Leni is holding Leo. Lincoln: the audience We're going through Alaska for funeral of a relative I've never met. I am not happy about it but a family is a family. Lucy: I like funerals, it's quiet, all wear black clothes and another poor soul joins spirit society. Luan: How can you like celebrating of someone's death? It's devastating! Lucy: Exacly. Lincoln: Girls, can you argue quitter? I try to read my comic and in this fur it's inconvinient. Luna: Dude, drop this comic and sing a road song with me! Rita: No! If you sing you'll cause and avalanche! Luna: Can I whistle then? gets sad on sight of Rita shaking head for "no" or at least I hum? Rita: Fine. Luna: hums something and after some time she knocking her knees like she was playing on drums Lori: Stop it! You'll literally wake Lily and Leo up! Lisa: And you're interrupting my Sudoku. Luna: Come on, dudes, this trip is so boring. Nothing happens around. Lola: sarcastically Then could you go sleep out of this boredom? I'll take some beauty sleep. closes eyes and starts breathing Lynn: Hey, bro, catch this. attempts to throw a tennis ball to Lincoln Rita: Lynn Jr. no playing at the van! Lynn: This boredom is making me crazy! Leni: I took some fashion magazines, you can read them if you're bored. Lynn: No thanks. You know I dislike reading. Lisa: And that's why I need to constantly tutor you. Lana: Why don't you turn the radio on, dad? Lisa: The weather disturbs radio waves so listening to the radio is impossible. If you're bored, then repeat alphabet. Lana: I found a cool way to remember this. burped alphabet Lily and Leo: Waah! Lori: Gross over gross! Lana you woke up our baby siblings! Leni: And Leo sweats on me out of fear. Lincoln: Ehh, I don't think it's sweat. Lola: Eww. You have less class than Lincoln. If you keep doing this our baby siblings will be as gross as you! Lana: Cool to have such younger siblings. Lynn Sr.: Kids, we need to stop on the fuel station. Luan: To fill the fuel. laugh Leni: And I can clean my cloth and change Leo's diaper. To kill some time Lana was building a snowman. Luan joined and built a snowman in form of a bunny, then Lana built a frog, then Luan built a badger. Lucy appeared behind them, spooking them. She joined them and built a snowman in form monster. Luan: What's that supposed to be? Lucy: An all-eating monster. Luan: You're so mean! Lucy: You know what's wrong with cuteness? It's transistory. Luan: Don't annoy me! Your nihilism kills my humorous mood! Lucy: Laugh is an illusion that covers brutal reality! Lana: Lincoln, make them stop. You're the peacemaker. Lincoln: sigh Fine. Lana: Good, I'm going to toilet then. Lincoln: Girls! Stop! Luan and Lucy: What do you want! Lincoln: I want you to stop arguing! Especially for petty things. Argument of the three siblings caused snow from mountains fall and it turned into an avalanche. Rita called her children to the fuel station. However Lucy, Luan and Lincoln were too far and argued too loudly to hear their mom. The avalanche cought them and separated from rest of the family. At foot of the mountain they scrambled out of the snow. Lincoln: NO! Luan: Lincoln' mouth Please don't scream or you'll cause another avalanche. Lucy: We're far from our family! We're in middle of nowhere! We're doomed! Luan: Don't say such things! We can still return! Lucy: Don't deny the fact we're in a deadly dangerous situation! Luan: Why do you have to be such defeatist?! Lucy: Who are you to tell me what to say? Lincoln: throws snowballs on the sisters Stop! This argument leads us nowhere. Answer simple question "Do you want to return to our family or not?". Luan: Of course I want to. Lucy: Me too, but... Lincoln: No buts! Let's go. But first use your phones to contact our parents. Luan: Oh no! We're out of field! Lincoln: Let's climb. tried to climb on the mountain but fell It's too steep and too slippery to climb back! Luan: Then we need to walk around the mountain. Lucy: Then it will be a very long walk. Luan: I know you don't like physical efforts but otherwise we'll turn into living snowmen. Lincoln: We need to return before sunset because on Alaska night lasts 6 months. Lucy: Alaskans are lucky. 6 months of darkness. Luan: Do they sleep six months? They can have very long sleepover. laugh Lincoln: This is serious! When the polar night starts the temperature gets much lower and we'll freeze there to death. Lucy: Death fascinates me but not so much to experience it myself. Lincoln, Lucy and Luan began walking to west. Unfortunatelly wind arrived, so strong that the siblings felt wounded in cheeks. Lincoln: This frost is literally scratching our cheeks! I feel like a cat scratched me. Luan: We need a shelter! Lucy: How? Around is nothing but snow! Lincoln: Exacly, let's build a small igloo. The siblings tried to build a shelter from snow but the wind made it impossible. Lucy pointed a cave so they went inside to protect themselves from the wind. Luan: We must wait till the wind stops giving us cold reception. laugh Get it? Lucy: We're dying and you're in mood for dumb jokes? Luan: Don't say we're going to die! Lucy: Unlike you I can face the harsh reality! Lincoln: STOP! Our situation is bad enough we need no arguments to make it worse! Lucy: At least you see how serious it is. stomach growled I'm hungry. Lincoln: Me too. But how can we find anything to eat? There is nothing but lichens in this cave. Luan: Guys, I hope it's eatable. Lucy: I am sure it's bitter and I'll return it after first bite. Luan: You didn't try and you already claim it tastes awful. Lincoln: This time I'm with Luan. I rather eat gross food than starve to death. Lucy: Fine. Lincoln, Lucy and Luan: try lichens YUCK! Lucy: I told it's bitter! Lincoln: Try to put it on side of your tongue that doesn't feel bitter and then swollow it. Luan: I'll buy a hamburger after we return to civillisation. The wind doesn't disappear. I can tell you some jokes. Lucy: I rather wait in silence. Lincoln: Even bad jokes can release stress. Luan: Hey! Don't call my jokes bad before you hear them! What do you get from sitting on the snow too long? Polaroids! laugh Get it? Lucy: Not funny. Luan: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake! laugh Get it? Lucy: Listen to my new poem called "Snow Hell". Only snow around to face, Lost in deeply frozen heart of Alaska, We can wait for demise. Luan: You just made me depressed! Lincoln: My turn. If you live in an igloo made of snow, what's the worst thing about global warming? No privacy! Luan: laugh That's a good one. Lucy: angry How can you two joke around when we're lost in heart of tundra?! Luan: I know you're stressed but so I am. Jokes are my way to get rid of this stress. Lucy: angry Do you really fail to see our situation is hopeless?! Luan: Through this blizzard I can't see even my own nose. laugh Maybe you think it's hopeless because you don't see hope through the blizzard.laugh Lucy: scream Aaah! run from the cave in fury Lincoln: Luan! You just angried her. Stay here I'll deal with this. Luan: Luan, you moron! Sometimes I really talk too much. Lucy was running angry, sobbing. She didn't go far because Lincoln grabbed her. Lincoln: Where do you think you're going?! Lucy: sobbing I wanna go home! Lincoln: Are you crying? Lucy: and sad Of course I cry! How else shall I react?! I am a human being just like you! Lincoln: Why are you angry at me? hugged Lucy Lucy: I am generally angry at everything because I fear we won't survive. hugged Lincoln back Lincoln: In this blizzard you surely will not survive. What were you thinking? Let's go back to Luan in the cave. Luan: Guys! We must leave! Lincoln: What happened? Luan: No time to explain! Run to the forest! The siblings escaped to the forest and there they barely breathed because they were tired. Luan: I'm sorry, Lucy. I just wanted to cheer you up. Lucy: I'm sorry for running away. I didn't think rationally I just wanted to no longer be there. Luan: Don't be too harsh for yourself. This cave was inhabited by a cougar. By running away you saved yourself. Lincoln: How did you get lost it? Luan: Don't tell anyone but I distracted it by my stinky bombs. Lincoln: You planned to pull a prank to us with those bomb! Luan: True but it doesn't matter now. We escaped from the cougar. Lucy, you have icicles on your cheeks. laugh Lucy: removed frozen tears from her face Stupid tears! Lincoln: There is no shame in crying when we're in trouble. I cry when I have good reason to. Luan: Actually you cry more often than any of us. Lincoln: Your mocking doesn't work as I said I am not ashamed of crying. Lucy: Enough! Did you forget we wanna go home? Let's move. The siblings were walking through forest, they felt hunger and tried to find something to eat but there was nothing. Suddenly Lucy stepped on a hidden bear trap and it clamped on her leg. Lucy: in agony Aaaah! Luan: You scream like dying. Lincoln: This isn't funny. Help me free her. Lucy: Leave me and save yourselves! Lincoln: Non-sense! We're returning together! Luan: That's what family is for! The trap was very strong and Lucy's leg was bleeding, she couldn't stop screaming from this pain. Luan and Lincoln put a lot of effort to release their sister's leg. Lucy: crying IT HURTS! I CAN'T WALK! Luan: You're bleeding. We must stop it! I don't have bandages. Lincoln: I have a scarf, I can use it like a bandage! took care of Lucy's leg Lucy: Thank you guys but I still can't walk. Luan: We will carry you. Lucy: Do you remember when I said I want to experience a shark attack? I retract this! Lincoln: We must be careful. There must be more such traps. Luan: Blasted poachers! They should fell in those traps! Lucy: I will only slow you down. Leave me here to my fate so you would have bigger chances to survive. Lincoln: We won't leave you. insidiously Besides even if we do and reach our parents, they won't let your corpse rot here. They will return here with us and they will most likely lose sanity on sight of your skeleton. Luan: disgusted Brother, that was sick. You were creepier than her. Lincoln: One death, 14 victims, you would lose life, parents a daughter and we a sister. Besides parents would kill us for leaving you to die. Lucy: You're right. How could I even think about it? I don't wanna you suffer because of me. Luan: Your state is not your fault but that poacher's fault. Let's move and Lincoln, use a stick to check if there aren't more traps before us. Lincoln was supporting Lucy in walking. However she suffered during walk so Lincoln began carrying her on his back. Lucy felt embarassed because she couldn't move independently. Luan was waving with a stick to check if there are traps before them, they found many traps. Suddenly the siblings heard a quiet roaring. Lincoln: Lucy, I get you suffer but to roar from pain? Lucy: What? I am too tired to roar, I used most of energy for scream. Lincoln: Then what's this sound? Luan: So you also heard it, that means I am not crazy yet. The siblings turned around and detected a croaching lynx. They realised it followed smell of Lucy's blood. Lincoln: Luan, make it leave by your sinky bombs! Luan: I used them all on the cougar. Lucy: We also disabled the traps that could stop the lynx! Lincoln: What a cruel irony. Luan run on left and Lincoln with Lucy on right, the lynx chased the latter. Lincoln fell from exhaustion and the lynx was aproaching him. Lincoln: I'm sorry I failed to save you. Lucy: Yelling won't help. At least we die together. Lincoln: Or maybe yelling can help. Scream! Lucy: Why? Lincoln: Just do it! Lucy and Lincoln angrily screamed much to the lynx's annoyance, it didn't help but made it angry. Lucy: Now it's gonna devour us. Lincoln: Have little faith. There is a wolf. Let's howl! Lucy: Do you want 2 predators to kill us? Lincoln: Felines and canines are mortal foes. If the wolf sees the lynx walking on its territory, they will fight and we'll escape. Lucy: Better it works. Lucy and Lincoln howled to awaken the wolf. The awakened predator saw w humans and a lynx on its terriotory so it charged. The wolf wanted to eat the siblings but lynx was not pleased with arrival of the rival. The predaors bagan fighting each other what the siblings used to escape. Lucy: Cats and dogs always fight. You're clever, brother. I would like to see how they tear apart each other but we don't have time for this. Lincoln: Now we must find Luan. In same time Luan detected she lost her siblings so she decided to turn back. She thought she's lucky she can follow her footprints but unofortunatelly it began snowing and the snow covered them. She felt hungry so she began looking for food. She detected a bush with wild berries. She began eating them and then Lincoln and Lucy detected her. Lincoln: Luan! We escape from lynx and you just stand there and eat berries?! Luan: Don't worry there is whole bush for you. stomach growled Oh, no. I have a stomachache. Lincoln: Now we know we can't eat it. Luan: Right now my body doesn't think about eating but something quite opposite! Turn around! Lincoln and Lucy turned around and left Luan so she could take her business in bush. Luan: Ugh! Can you bring me some leaves?! Lincoln: Fine. brought some leaves and gave them to Luan Luan: leaving the bush I'll never eat wildberries again. Don't tell others about it when we return to them. Lucy: If we return. I still can't walk and feel like a useless burden for you. Lincoln: Can you carry her now? I'm tired already. Luan took Lucy on her back and the the lost siblings continued their march. Lincoln: We're going several hours, we're tired and hungry and I begin to lose hope. Luan: You can't! You're the one keeping us together. Lucy: The sun is already setting and we don't even know where to go. We're doomed! Luan: Please stop telling this! begins crying Don't sob say sob anything! Lincoln: No jokes? Luan: I would joke to cheer you up but this time I'm so stressed that I can't think about it. Lucy: I keep calmly saying about how I know we're doomed but that all is only to mask my hopelessness. Lincoln: If we only got some food for complaining. hears something Maybe we get after all. Luan: I said I have no mood to joke. Lincoln: That's no joke. Look there is a coyote chewing a moose. The prey is quite big. We can wait till the wolf leaves and we eat the remainings. Luan: Are you telling us to eat raw moose meat chewed by coyote? This is a bad idea. Lucy: We have 3 options, 1st we do as I say, 2nd we starve to death, 3rd when one of us gets frozen to death the rest will become cannibals to survive. Lincoln and Luan: Stop it! None of us will be a cannibal! Lucy: The coyote got sleep. He won't leave soon. Lincoln: I rather risk than stay. I will take some meat you stay here. Lincoln crouched quietly to the dead moose. He tried to take some meat but it was quite strongly sticked to bones. Lincoln got nervous when he heard the coyote's quiet howling but luckily for him the predator was just yawing and changed a lying pose. The boy continued taking the meat to his pockets. Unfortunatelly for Lincoln 2 male ravens began fighting for a female and it was so loud it awakened the coyote. Lincoln got paralyzed by fear of the predator. Without a second thought to defend her brother Luan grabbed a rock and threw it to the coyote. She repeated it until the predator lost consciousness. Lincoln: T-thank you Luan. Luan: I couldn't let that coyote kill my brother. Lincoln: Get the rest of the meat and leave before it wakes up. The siblings were eating the moose meat. It was a hard raw meat but they needed it to survive. Lucy: First time I eat such bloody meat. Shame it doesn't happen in better circumstances. Luan: We must gather strength to continue our unhappy journey. Lincoln: We must save some of the meat for later because do not know how long this snow hell will last. Lucy: I feel I can walk on my own. Thanks for carrying me. Lincoln: hugged LuanThank you again for saving me. I was immobilized by my own fear. Luan: hugged Lincoln back I also feared that I can lose you. Please don't risk anymore. I don't want to lose you or Lucy in this giant fridge or it will break my heart. Lincoln: I love you both so lose of you is what I fear the most. Lucy: Do you know what's heartbreaking for me now? You brother found food and you sister saved him from the coyote when I am just wounded. I am so useless and it upsets me. Lincoln: Doesn't matter we're family who needs to return to rest of family. Lucy: I don't know what's killing me more, the frost or my worries. The siblings continued their walk and checked if they can use phones to call their family but they didn't work. Suddenly Luan detected a dall sheep and pointed it. Luan: Look what a cute goat. Lincoln: It's not a goat. The horns are too big and too twisted for a goat. Luan: It doesn't have fluffy wool, so it's more a goat. Lincoln: I saw enough of sheep horns to be sure it's a sheep. Luan: You goat to be kidding. laugh Get it? Lucy: Stop playing goats you two! You're getting my goat! Lincoln: Do you realize you just joked twice? Lucy: I am a goth, joking isn't my domain. I'm supposed to have a cow. Luan: You're getting better at joking, keep it up! sneezed Lucy: Oh no. You got a cold. Luan: Why didn't you get cold? Lincoln: Unlike you we don't have bare heads and you must have exposed your butt for cold too long for the cold when you were in the bush. Luan: blushing Lincoln! Spare me such details! Lucy: Like my crippled leg wasn't enough. The siblings came into nearest cave. Lincoln came for dry branches and Lucy tried to take care of sick Luan. Lincoln returned with the most posibly dry branches he could find. They used rocks to ignite them. Lincoln and Lucy hugged Luan to make her warm up faster. Luan: It's nice of you, guys. Lucy: We also want to warm up. Lincoln: Lucy, don't you want just a hug? Admit it. I do and I am not ashamed of this. Lucy: Sigh, fine. I wanna a hug too, I am not as cold and dark as I always claim. Luan: You began to sound more optimistic. Where does this change come from? Lucy: I thought we're doomed but seeing how well you deal with it I began to have some hope too. Lincoln: See? Some optimism doesn't kill. It's so warm and pleasant here. Luan: Perfect chance to warm up relationship. laugh Get it? They fell asleep for a while Lincoln had a nightmare in which he wakes up and his two sisters are frozen to death so he screamed. His scream awoke his sisters. Luan: Did you have to wake me up? I had a nice dream. Lincoln: We can't sleep because we'll get frozen. How do you feel? Luan: A little better. Lucy: How long have we been sleeping? The sky is getting dark, there is no sun anymore. We need to move. The siblings continued their walk. Lincoln detected aurora and showed it to his sisters. However he stopped watching his feet so he slipped and lost balance. The sisters tried to catch him but they all slipped and fell on an old bough. Roots of the bough came out the ground because the three siblings were heavy enough. They tried to climb but in the bough got unsticked from ground and they had no choice but to sledge on it and avoid various obstacles. After sledging the siblings stood up. Luan: That was awesome! I wanna do this again! Lucy: Lincoln, your arm! Lincoln: furiously I have enough of this! We're lost, we have no idea where to go and I have a dislocated arm. I don't see happy ending of this! Luan: Brother, turn around. Lincoln: What? Oh, finally a civilization, we've found a town. Luan: I knew from the start we can survive. Lucy: And the phones work again. Let's call our parents. Lincoln: Oh, boy, they tried to contact us 137 times. I'll call them. Oh, no. the battery is dead. Luan: Go to the phone booth. Lincoln: took phone Hallo, Lori? It's Lincoln. Lori: Finally, where the heck have you been?! We're trying to contact you for litterally 13 hours! Mom and dad lost their senses out of worries. Lincoln: Lori, calm down! We had to survive in a snow hell, we reached some town. How is it called? Luan: Puffin Nest. Lincoln: Puffin Nest. Lori: Are you litterally kidding me?! You're 40 miles from us! How did you move whole this time?! Lincoln: Long story. We have no choice but to wait for you. Lori: Wait there and don't leave the city. Buy hot meals for you. Lincoln: Please come for us as soon as possible. put phone back Lucy: How long are we gonna wait for them? Lincoln: They are 40 miles from us. Luan: Dang it! We will wait whole day for them. Let's search for motel and may they be cheap. Lincoln, Luan and Lucy rest on bench for a while and then searched for bar. When they found it they checked if they have enough money. Sadly they had money only for one dish so they needed to divide it between each other. Luan: This strogonov is bitter. How do you find it? Lincoln: I'm so hungry that all is tasty for me. Lucy: I like strogonov but it's nothing compare to mom's cooking. Lincoln: We need to wait several hours for their return. We'll meet them tomorrow. Luan: How would we know if it's tomorrow if night lasts here for six months? Lincoln: tone Because we have clocks in our phones. Problem solved. Lucy: We need to wait but we have no cash for motel. Lincoln: I have an idea but you're not gonna like it. Outside he and his sisters pretended beggars. Lincoln kept saying "Please help, I have 2 sisters, one crippled and one sick." But nobody cared about them, all ignored them much to their dismay. Suddenly a bunch of homeless dogs approached the siblings who realized it's because they still smell like the moose meat they had in their pockets. The dogs charged on them. Lucy tried to scare them but it didn't work. Suddenly Lincoln puked and the sisters automatically followed him, it's disgusting smell made the dogs ran away. Luan: City or wild there are beasts everywhere. Lucy: Those ones are afraid of this smell and not of me. How can it make sense? Luan: The moose meat must stink and that's why we puked. We must go to a hospital to check if we aren't poisoned. The siblings went to hospital, where doctors took care of Lincoln's dislocated arm, Lucy's wounded leg and Luan's sickness. However it turned out the raw moose meat they ate was sick, so they needed to stay longer in the hospital. They all had gastric lavage and injections. Lucy: We'll spend this night in the hospital. Lincoln: At least here is warm and dry and we have healthy food. Luan: Still it's no match for mom's cooking. At least this nightmare is over. Well it will be over when our family takes us from here. Lincoln: I hope to take a very hot bath after this adventure. Or maybe we'll go to solarium or sauna. Luan: What about a nice sitting on couch hugged under a big blanket? Once we three did this as younger. I read a story for both of you to make you sleep and in the end I slept with you on the couch. Lucy: blushing Did this happen? Lincoln: Yes, very remembering this makes me feel warmer. Luan: Then come to me you two. The siblings gave each other a big hug and went sleep enjoying company of each other. Next morning their family arrived and welcomed them with hugs and kisses. Luan: At last we're together again. Please don't ground us. Rita: Finally we've found you. We were dying out of worries. The avalanche wasn't your fault, you won't be grounded. Lynn Sr.: What happened to you that you're in the hospital? Lincoln: A lot happened, the low temperature wasn't the only problem, there was no food but lots of predators and deadly traps. Lynn: Your scars prove you speak truth. You have my respect for surviving this. Lori: Tell us what literally happened with literally every little detail. Lincoln: Then sit and listen because it's a very long story. THE END Trivia *This is my 4th survival story after Lost on the Open Ocean, Responsibility Issues and The Great Louddoors *Idea for adventure in frozen wilderness was came to my mind after watching 2015 film "The Revenant". *This is the first story with cameo of Leo Loud from Second Loud Brother *Luna's dialogue with her mom is a reference to 2001 animated film "Shrek". *Originally the siblings were supposed to meet the poacher who set the traps Lucy fell in but it was ultimatelly not used because I thought it can be too dark antagonist. The poacher was planned to be the Park Ranger from "Raw Deal" *Snow jokes are taken from http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/weatherjokes/snowjokes.html *Informations about eatable flora comes from page http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/survival/wilderness/alaska-food2.htm *Lucy uses idioms "Stop playing goats you two!" means "Stop acting silly", "You're getting my goat!" means "You're annoying me" and "I have a cow" means "I'm worried". Category:Episodes Category:Fanfiction Category:Episodes focusing on Lincoln Loud Category:Episodes focusing on Luan Loud Category:Episodes focusing on Lucy Loud Category:Loud House Fanfictions